Thursday, April 8, 2010

Glutton for punishment

So here is the thing. I keep EVERYTHING! Pretty much. And tonight I've started to go through over 13 years worth of stuff to sort it out and find it its right home.

So tonight I've braved the boxes. Well one small box.

What are the boxes? The boxes contain letters, postcards, notes to me from friends and from him. There are also notes to him. I didn't realise quite how many fucking bits of writing there were, and let me tell you - it is pretty heart smooshing to read about how much love there was apparently not very long ago. Anniversary cards, birthday cards and the random notes (those ones are the kicker). And then there are the cards from friends who I just don't hear from any more. I don't know why I don't, or what I've done - but they have just sort of vanished from my life. And because I'm talking about close friends, that makes me sad too. Hello spiral of sadness.

So you'll need to indulge me over the next few days, because quite frankly there are a lot more boxes to sort through. And then there are the photos...

6 comments:

  1. I get it, this thing you are doing.
    I get the painful happiness it makes you feel.

    & I'm here. xxoo

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes. I'm doing the same thing right now, unpacking boxes from my office/art space and finding bits of myself that shock me, and bits of others that bring me to tears. Ditto on the notes from close friends who have mostly vanished. Ditto on all the writing. I look back and think, "Did I really write this? Was I fucking insane?"

    ReplyDelete
  3. 洪廷甫只當台灣人April 9, 2010 at 2:35 AM

    阿彌陀佛 無相佈施


    不要吃五辛(葷菜,在古代宗教指的是一些食用後會影響性情、慾望的植
    物,主要有五種葷菜,合稱五葷,佛家與道家所指有異。

    近代則訛稱含有動物性成分的餐飲食物為「葷菜」,事實上這在古代是稱
    之為腥。所謂「葷腥」即這兩類的合稱。 葷菜
    維基百科,自由的百科全書
    (重定向自五辛) 佛家五葷

    在佛家另稱為五辛,五種辛味之菜。根據《楞嚴經》記載,佛家五葷為大
    蒜、小蒜、興渠、慈蔥、茖蔥;五葷生啖增恚,使人易怒;熟食發淫,令
    人多慾。[1]

    《本草備要》註解云:「慈蔥,冬蔥也;茖蔥,山蔥也;興渠,西域菜,云
    即中國之荽。」

    興渠另說為洋蔥。) 肉 蛋 奶?!











    念楞嚴經 *∞窮盡相關 消去無關 證據 時效 念阿彌陀佛往生西方極樂世界











    我想製造自己的行為反作用力
    不婚 不生子女 生生世世不當老師








    log 二0.3010 三0.47710.48 五0.6990 七0.8451 .85
    root 二1.414 1.41 三1.732 1.73五 2.236 2.24七 2.646
    =>十3.16 π∈Q' 一點八1.34

    ReplyDelete
  4. You are right - it is painful happiness. Well I hope I get to the happiness part because at the moment it is fleeting.

    Thanks to both of you for commenting. I'm glad to know that it isn't just me - though Jessica while I don't wish you tears, there is comfort in numbers! I'm just hoping the Japanese commenter thinks the same and isn't saying buck up and get over yourself :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. I think of you every day and read every single one of your blog posts. I talk about you all the time to Stu and tell him how creative you are (seriously!) and how I love your yellow house in the u. I show him all your albums and tell him I want to be like you when I grow up. I am hopeless at staying in contact with anyone back home but my mid-year resolution is to make more of an effort. Still think of you as my big sis and promise to write a long email soon xx

    ReplyDelete
  6. Swearing is so horribly unladylike.

    Anyhow, to parpahrase 'Hong Tingfu only when the people of Taiwan' (洪廷甫只當台灣人)
    Wu Xin is being called dirty 5, but is fishy.
    ******************************************



    Hong Tingfu only when the people of Taiwan said ...

    Amitabha no phase Busch

    Do not eat Wu Xin (meat dish, in the ancient religion refers to a number of food will affect the temperament, the desire of the plant
    Materials, there are five main meat dishes, collectively known as the five dirty, within the meaning of Buddhism and Taoism are different.

    Modern Times is claiming that the food contains ingredients of animal food is "meat dish" In fact, it is said in ancient times
    It as fishy. The so-called "Hun Xing" means collectively, these two categories. Meat dish
    Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
    (Redirected from Wu Xin) Buddhist five dirty

    In Buddhism also known as Wu Xin, acrid of five dishes. According to "HeDongShiHou" records, for the large Buddhist five dirty
    Garlic, little garlic, Xing channel, Tsz onions, Ge onion; five dirty Health and taste by rage, people irritability; cooked food made lewd, so that
    Many people want. [1]

    "Herbal preparation to" comment goes: "Chi onions, shallots are; Ge onion, green onion mountain too; Hing Drainage, Western cuisine, cloud
    That China coriander. "

    Xing also said the onion drainage. ) Meat and eggs milk?!

    Nian Yan Jing * ∞ exhausted eliminate irrelevant evidence related to aging study Amitabha Pure Land paradise


    My reaction to manufacture their own behavior
    Children born without marriage is not improper teacher lifetimes

    ReplyDelete