5 questions you just shouldn't ask

So today I did something super smart.

Internet folk you would be so proud at this logical thought process: So, how do you not get nervous at a dental appointment where you know you need a new filling? You plan to spend the rest of the afternoon sorting through your CD and vinyl collection and splitting that with someone who used to mean the world to you.

Let me tell you, the dentist was a cinch. It only became apparent to me later that the above methodology was flawed. See, I forgot to plan something super awful to do after the division of music. I should have planned to read the Time Travellers Wife again, or watch an episode of Animal Rescue, or at the very least made a trip to Tuggeranong Hyperdome. As it was I had nothing to distract me from the last 4 hours except my own ridiculous need to ask the following series of questions whilst watching most of my adult life get packed up in a box and taken to a poxy apartment on the city.

Don't you miss the dog?

Long pause followed by a list of things he didn't miss about the dog...like him jumping up on the bed, his barking at stuff, the responsibility of it all. He does still keep a photo of him in his wallet, so he could have just said 'yes'.

Don't you miss me?

Longer pause followed by a list of things he didn't miss...like me saying he never did anything around the house, and that he always spent all the money. This was followed by a further monologue of things that he didn't like, at which point, in defeat, I said I got the point.

Don't you argue with your new girlfriend?

Smug no pause. No. We don't really argue about anything.

Oh, do you have a cleaner now?

Look of confusion, followed by no.

So you going on holidays or anything soon?

Yeah, in about 5 weeks going to Lebanon and Syria, and then maybe to Montenegro.