Dodging ghosts

I spent a bit of time in Brisbane dodging ghosts. Not memories - but actual ghosts. Actually it was a bit of ghosts and memories. Brisbane was the place we used to hang out. Driving through the Valley from the airport I had to just not look. If I had, I would have been taken back to those nights at Ricks when she'd get tipsy on wine, her teeth stained red. The old Queenslander and the summer rain, the beads, her long brown hair - and days spent op-shopping.

I thought the city itself would be fine, but it all came back too. The markets by the river where she kept me company all day, then years later, dinner at ECCO with him. Was it after she had gone - I don't know why we would have been in Brisbane without her...except for after the day by the highway. Where we put a beautiful bronze sunflower onto the grave and then the next night got drunk seeing the Cramps at the Roxy. I don't even like the Cramps, but it was an apt way to say goodbye - especially because of her love for Kim Salmon and his cuban heels. It was a line up just for her.

I don't really miss her much anymore, because I don't so much miss him. She'd be proud to see what we have both achieved, though probably upset at me for not doing more art, and for him - well she would have liked him to do things differently is all. I wish we had the chance to be happy for her, instead of wondering what could of, should of been.