Open Letter to Floriade Petting Zoo

Dear Floriade Petting Zoo

This years petting zoo was a little disappointing for a number of reasons.

a) The petting zoo was under a tarpaulin and was not very farm like;

b) A cat in a run is kind of creepy;

c) If Laser Boy wants to feed a goat a bit of hay, you should let him. There was no need to admonish him in front of the entire fake farm and tell him not to. Laser Boy is a guest of our country from another universe, and those mean words are irreparable. Your claims that every child in the petting zoo would now poke the animals in the eye with hay were unsubstantiated. I'm sure being a petting zoo supervisor is very important work, but you pulling rank like that -well frankly it was insulting and an embarrassment to petting zoo employees around the world. You should be ashamed;

d) There was no baby hippo; and

e) When I commented that the chicken eggs were very small (in fact quail like) there was no need to be so defensive and go on with a three minute monologue about the value of very small eggs. I DON'T CARE.