I don't even really like figs

I'm about to post a whole bunch of blogs about the wonderful bounty of fruit my garden has been producing.

Don't be fooled.

Due to an overabundance of figs, I have a fruit bat plague. They swoop down into the fig tree and make big batty noise with their creepy batty wings.

There are about 278 apples which are close to dropping on my lawn. Everyday I go out the back and there is a random apple about 7 meters away from the tree....how did it get there?

I only ever got one pear.

I have a glut of olives about to need picking. I am still eating the olives I painstaking preserved two years ago. They are too salty, but I eat them anyway.

I don't really like figs.

My dog is covered in some weird sticky goop. I suspect it is apple sap. It is like he has used hair gel. Maybe he is moving the apples?

The one useful tree I have (lemon) has one lemon. Just one. I bet I forget to pick it and we get a frost through the week, and it will be bye bye lemon.

The figs have also meant I now have a pack of possums living in my roof. They pause only to reach out through the gutter to snack on figs.

So that is the truth, but for the first part of the week, indulge me in my smugness and my middle class semi self sufficientness... The reality is I am living a nightmare, and I'm dragging my unsuspecting dog down with it.